This has always been my favorite time of year. The smell, sight and sound of leaves rustling in the towering trees, tumbling downward, scraping across a sidewalk and crunching below our feet... the aroma of wood burning in the distance... pulling out your favorite heavy blankets and cuddling close.
I find myself melancholy and trying to recall all of these innocent, pure moments that made my childhood a happy one. It wasn't always, nor mostly filled with these blissful moments, in fact I have trouble even remembering much of my childhood.
Autumn is like a mother to me. She comforts me and beckons me to join the real world. Encourages me to leave todays mistakes behind and look towards tomorrow while lightly kissing my face as I leave the familiar comforts of home.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Life imitating art?
Yesterday felt more like a movie than my own life.
Had to wake up at 8:30 to have any chance of being ready for 9:30. I have other things to attend to while Brad is getting ready. Said times would be perfectly reasonable in a normal human sleep pattern, but that is something else about me that if you already know me well, are the odd hours we keep.
So first it was to Pimlico for the Belmont at 11 for the first race of the day. Which is about a half an hour ride so I had to have Brad awake for 9:30 because he much like the female of the species, takes about an hour to get ready. The joys of a tiny single bathroom renters delight, force me to have to wake up at 8:30 so that I can get all the things like taking the dogs out, feeding & putting down fresh water and putting everyone settled where they belong as well as going through last nights tornado and straightening up a little bit so I don't go nuts coming home to a crime scene.
When we first got there, it rather sucked ass. The club house is not as fun as one would think it sounds...but Brad discovered treasure when we went upstairs, for the first time since I have been here 6 years, and found the sports palace. The buffet in the sports palace consisted of a protein over load. BBQ pork sliders, (disgusting) sliders with carrot slaw (I think they were the cheapy frozen patties rather than fresh ground beef.) Roast beef with Au Jus, crab balls, some salmon sauce (Brad and I don't eat seafood) and buffalo wings with hot sauce. After the Belmont, which was the 11th race, we left. Sometimes we stay for the extra couple races afterwards but I was happy to leave at 7.
From there, we went home to let the dogs out and check movie times on the computer... to Brads uncles house and talked for a couple minutes before we went to the bar to meet up with his aunt and other uncle. This was around 9 by then and we had plans to catch a 10:50 showing of The Hangover.
After a few Miller 64's it was time to leave at 10:20. To the packed movie, back to the bar at 1 for 3 shots of Washington apples, and a fuzzy navel. To the diner shortly after two with Brads highly inebriated and amusing uncle, then home after we made sure he was home safely before we got home at 4.
Had to wake up at 8:30 to have any chance of being ready for 9:30. I have other things to attend to while Brad is getting ready. Said times would be perfectly reasonable in a normal human sleep pattern, but that is something else about me that if you already know me well, are the odd hours we keep.
So first it was to Pimlico for the Belmont at 11 for the first race of the day. Which is about a half an hour ride so I had to have Brad awake for 9:30 because he much like the female of the species, takes about an hour to get ready. The joys of a tiny single bathroom renters delight, force me to have to wake up at 8:30 so that I can get all the things like taking the dogs out, feeding & putting down fresh water and putting everyone settled where they belong as well as going through last nights tornado and straightening up a little bit so I don't go nuts coming home to a crime scene.
When we first got there, it rather sucked ass. The club house is not as fun as one would think it sounds...but Brad discovered treasure when we went upstairs, for the first time since I have been here 6 years, and found the sports palace. The buffet in the sports palace consisted of a protein over load. BBQ pork sliders, (disgusting) sliders with carrot slaw (I think they were the cheapy frozen patties rather than fresh ground beef.) Roast beef with Au Jus, crab balls, some salmon sauce (Brad and I don't eat seafood) and buffalo wings with hot sauce. After the Belmont, which was the 11th race, we left. Sometimes we stay for the extra couple races afterwards but I was happy to leave at 7.
From there, we went home to let the dogs out and check movie times on the computer... to Brads uncles house and talked for a couple minutes before we went to the bar to meet up with his aunt and other uncle. This was around 9 by then and we had plans to catch a 10:50 showing of The Hangover.
After a few Miller 64's it was time to leave at 10:20. To the packed movie, back to the bar at 1 for 3 shots of Washington apples, and a fuzzy navel. To the diner shortly after two with Brads highly inebriated and amusing uncle, then home after we made sure he was home safely before we got home at 4.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Baby bird has a death wish
You know you have too much time on your hands when you are stalking a family of robins.
This baby robin, with crazy looking feathers who I've been calling "Hopper" has consumed most of my daily thoughts. I honestly worry over him. The dogs go out one by one on leash and at night I bring a flash light because he picks odd spots in the grass of our yard to honker down. So far they've just been curious of him but last year I saw our neighbors chi kill one so I don't want to take a chance.
He hopped up the toddler slide I have for my nephew/niece then sat at the top all proud of himself, it was freaking adorable. Then when I had Jack outside with the Furminator he was hopping up the front steps checking us out demanding worms from me.
If he can just make it a few more days, he should be flying, he's just about there now. I have faith, he is a crafty little dude but just today I chased a fat ass cat out of the yard that was eyeing my birdhouses. We have a family of finches that come back every year.
I suppose his ominous presence that explains the mystery of my broken votive holders that were on the wall close by.
This baby robin, with crazy looking feathers who I've been calling "Hopper" has consumed most of my daily thoughts. I honestly worry over him. The dogs go out one by one on leash and at night I bring a flash light because he picks odd spots in the grass of our yard to honker down. So far they've just been curious of him but last year I saw our neighbors chi kill one so I don't want to take a chance.
He hopped up the toddler slide I have for my nephew/niece then sat at the top all proud of himself, it was freaking adorable. Then when I had Jack outside with the Furminator he was hopping up the front steps checking us out demanding worms from me.
If he can just make it a few more days, he should be flying, he's just about there now. I have faith, he is a crafty little dude but just today I chased a fat ass cat out of the yard that was eyeing my birdhouses. We have a family of finches that come back every year.
I suppose his ominous presence that explains the mystery of my broken votive holders that were on the wall close by.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
So it's been a while.
I am starting to really think my soon to be husband has a plan to knock me off with stress so he can enjoy a kick ass party in my memoriam rather than the wedding date it has been scheduled as!
So here I sit in Connecticut. With nothing better to do than to go through my pocket book when I stumble upon my cousins address/blog address... I start rifling through the hotel drawers to find some sort of stationary to write her a letter. She likes she receive things in the mail, she told me this when I saw her in December and I feel horrible that I haven't done so to show her that I really do constantly think of her. No luck.
She inspired me to blog since I have gotten lax in that department as of late as well.
I am getting married in 22 days. What the hell am I doing in this hotel room that doesn't even have the adequate stationary so I can write a letter to my cousin, stuck in this room like some sort of love sick teen. For the first time in a long time, I find myself missing, really missing Brad during the days he is gone playing his tournaments at Foxwoods.
He said I am here to relax, but who can relax knowing they still have yet to get their wedding bands, flowers and gifts wrapped up for the wedding party... not to mention, getting the groom dressed! (no he has not decided on what he is wearing yet)
Yesterday, my oldest brother and his girlfriend came out to spend some time with me. They are wonderful and I appreciated and valued their company. Today, my other brother and his fiancee' plan to come out. I couldn't ask for more!
Are there ever enough minutes in a day, enough cheesy hotel stationary or miles on the road to tell the people you have in your heart how much they mean to you?
So here I sit in Connecticut. With nothing better to do than to go through my pocket book when I stumble upon my cousins address/blog address... I start rifling through the hotel drawers to find some sort of stationary to write her a letter. She likes she receive things in the mail, she told me this when I saw her in December and I feel horrible that I haven't done so to show her that I really do constantly think of her. No luck.
She inspired me to blog since I have gotten lax in that department as of late as well.
I am getting married in 22 days. What the hell am I doing in this hotel room that doesn't even have the adequate stationary so I can write a letter to my cousin, stuck in this room like some sort of love sick teen. For the first time in a long time, I find myself missing, really missing Brad during the days he is gone playing his tournaments at Foxwoods.
He said I am here to relax, but who can relax knowing they still have yet to get their wedding bands, flowers and gifts wrapped up for the wedding party... not to mention, getting the groom dressed! (no he has not decided on what he is wearing yet)
Yesterday, my oldest brother and his girlfriend came out to spend some time with me. They are wonderful and I appreciated and valued their company. Today, my other brother and his fiancee' plan to come out. I couldn't ask for more!
Are there ever enough minutes in a day, enough cheesy hotel stationary or miles on the road to tell the people you have in your heart how much they mean to you?
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
My mom and the boob doctor
My mother has had problems for years with her breasts. Several scares, biopsy's things not so pleasant.
I went with her yesterday and I experienced unexpected emotions. I was all over the place. I hate hospitals just like most citizens of the United States of America but the other thing that first struck me, is that for years she has done this on her own. Scared, in a stuffy old sterile place, paper gown, waiting...
I also felt this over whelming sense of sisterhood as the women marched out, sat listening to the cheesy elevator music and nervously waited in the dimly lit changing area for their names to be called. It were as if they literally shed their individuality and petty little every day problems when they removed their shirts off and united this common experience.
I had no nails left by the time I left. I wasn't allowed access when they did her mammogram because of the radiation, but they did let me go in while they ultra sounded each breast.
It was so quiet and awkward... I had no idea what I was looking at staring at that screen, but every time that girl marked a dark mass, I held my breath. One was 2 cm, 3 cm, I believe the largest was 5.
Then more waiting. Which I guess, was good news because they sent the ultra sound girl back with the news rather than the big guy. The paper she handed her reported they'd found several questionable areas they believed to be benign but wanted to watch just to be sure they remained unchanged which left me confused since they told her she had A typical cells and needed to be watched, wasn't there more urgency towards my mother and her breasts?
How many other women live this life, how many families play this sick waiting game? Or worse, how many of these women suffer in silence?
I went with her yesterday and I experienced unexpected emotions. I was all over the place. I hate hospitals just like most citizens of the United States of America but the other thing that first struck me, is that for years she has done this on her own. Scared, in a stuffy old sterile place, paper gown, waiting...
I also felt this over whelming sense of sisterhood as the women marched out, sat listening to the cheesy elevator music and nervously waited in the dimly lit changing area for their names to be called. It were as if they literally shed their individuality and petty little every day problems when they removed their shirts off and united this common experience.
I had no nails left by the time I left. I wasn't allowed access when they did her mammogram because of the radiation, but they did let me go in while they ultra sounded each breast.
It was so quiet and awkward... I had no idea what I was looking at staring at that screen, but every time that girl marked a dark mass, I held my breath. One was 2 cm, 3 cm, I believe the largest was 5.
Then more waiting. Which I guess, was good news because they sent the ultra sound girl back with the news rather than the big guy. The paper she handed her reported they'd found several questionable areas they believed to be benign but wanted to watch just to be sure they remained unchanged which left me confused since they told her she had A typical cells and needed to be watched, wasn't there more urgency towards my mother and her breasts?
How many other women live this life, how many families play this sick waiting game? Or worse, how many of these women suffer in silence?
Friday, November 21, 2008
My birthday
First can I just confess that we are Panera Bread addicts?
The chicken salad sandwich, blew my mind. And I am not a huge mustard girl... This is like 4 for 4 now. I've also moaned over every bowl of soup I've had there.
So I had this huge honking sandwich... with my portion sizes now, more like two sandwiches... on some sort of fresh semolina bread. The perfect scoop of chicken salad with lettuce, tomato a light yet impressive dose of spicy mustard (no onion breath for me please, hold the onion) A dill spear, and this is a decent dill. This isn't the fluorescent science project. Kettle cooked chips that I begged Brad to help me eat and my giant bowl of creamy tomato soup while the croutons soak up all that absurd goodness.
We had our shared bucket of diet soda (Pepsi or Coke, these are the standard diet fountain soda choices diet drinking customers have to face, fuck you very much.) cranked up with about 5 lemon wedges and went to town. Besides the shared interest in the creamy tomato, Brad ordered the Mozzarella and tomato panini, also a wise choice. Fresh Mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, fresh tomato and basil... I have taught you well.
The engagement shoot was awesome. I recommend it to anyone getting married... our photographer giggled with us non stop, he probably went home and laughed with his wife over what he got us to do. We really had a great time. I just wish the weather wasn't so fickle and frigid today!
Huh, maybe there really is something to this "Global Warming" epidemic lol I wore a really cute black Converse knit sweater, jeans and a pair of Studio 1940 black kitten heels
updated pic
Brad was beyond adorable. He is so awesome for being such a good sport even at times it was clear he was feeling awkward lol He eventually got the hang of it, let loose and nailed it. He even asked Brad to dip me for the last picture.
The Thinker is on display there, admittedly it gave me the creeps. He is such a huge guy, and when I am standing there tall, his face is right down in mine. Looks like at any minute this pissed off dude is going to stand and crush you.
I got some thoughtful gifts, ate some kick ass food, shared this experience of something I never imagined we'd do... solid day.
The chicken salad sandwich, blew my mind. And I am not a huge mustard girl... This is like 4 for 4 now. I've also moaned over every bowl of soup I've had there.
So I had this huge honking sandwich... with my portion sizes now, more like two sandwiches... on some sort of fresh semolina bread. The perfect scoop of chicken salad with lettuce, tomato a light yet impressive dose of spicy mustard (no onion breath for me please, hold the onion) A dill spear, and this is a decent dill. This isn't the fluorescent science project. Kettle cooked chips that I begged Brad to help me eat and my giant bowl of creamy tomato soup while the croutons soak up all that absurd goodness.
We had our shared bucket of diet soda (Pepsi or Coke, these are the standard diet fountain soda choices diet drinking customers have to face, fuck you very much.) cranked up with about 5 lemon wedges and went to town. Besides the shared interest in the creamy tomato, Brad ordered the Mozzarella and tomato panini, also a wise choice. Fresh Mozzarella, sun dried tomatoes, fresh tomato and basil... I have taught you well.
The engagement shoot was awesome. I recommend it to anyone getting married... our photographer giggled with us non stop, he probably went home and laughed with his wife over what he got us to do. We really had a great time. I just wish the weather wasn't so fickle and frigid today!
Huh, maybe there really is something to this "Global Warming" epidemic lol I wore a really cute black Converse knit sweater, jeans and a pair of Studio 1940 black kitten heels
updated pic
Brad was beyond adorable. He is so awesome for being such a good sport even at times it was clear he was feeling awkward lol He eventually got the hang of it, let loose and nailed it. He even asked Brad to dip me for the last picture.
The Thinker is on display there, admittedly it gave me the creeps. He is such a huge guy, and when I am standing there tall, his face is right down in mine. Looks like at any minute this pissed off dude is going to stand and crush you.
I got some thoughtful gifts, ate some kick ass food, shared this experience of something I never imagined we'd do... solid day.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Happy birthday hunny!
My fourteen year old turns 24 today, they grow up so fast don't they?
Prepare your gag reflexes, I am going in! Have I mentioned how much I love this man? I had no idea life could be this way, and I hate myself for the words I am typing lol
I have the best life! Such a stretch from the mess I was even a couple years ago. I fear the inevitable "birthday" every year, though I can't help but to admit that it just keeps getting better.
Also people, we are in no rush for kids at the time being. Partly I think, because I realize I am just too selfish to share him with anyone else at this point, and I love the life we have today. We are young, I adore the ability to just take off whenever we want to... we stay up all night and sleep half the day. Our house is quiet, and with our sense of style it isn't really baby proof.
We don't have to worry about not being able to cover bills, we are comfortable financially but we are not the type of people to go out and just blow money either and I don't know if you've noticed but those little chubby people cost a lot! Planning our wedding strangely, has put a lot of things in perspective for me. I am more into my sisters babies where I can go get them, then send them home.
I am so proud of us and how far we have come, those who know us best, know what I am talking about. We've literally grown up together, moving in at 18 and 20 and that means some of the time we were more like bickering brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend. We want to enjoy married life before adding kids to the mix, what is the rush? My oldest brother told me, he enjoys things more now in his early thirties than in his twenties.
Don't get me wrong, we love babies and children (well, most of them lol I am talking to you mom at Target who awkwardly ignores her red faced screaming brat) and I think we will make amazing parents. However, we want to enjoy it, plan it and be ready for it when it happens. Turning 26 in 9 days, I definitely hear my clock ticking, I just opt to keep hitting the snooze button...
*UPDATE* So today we went forth and celebrated the day his mother expelled him from her uterus. I picked him up Kat Williams new DVD it's pimpin' pimpin' and the Offsprings CD Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace. We met his Aunt where she plays on a pool league so she treated us to a meal of buffalo wings (I hate the drumsticks so Brad eats those lol) and Brad also wanted the buffalo chicken pizza.
The wings were killer, but the bleu cheese was horrid. She says she treated me too because "my bday was a few days after Brads" (ehrm, that would be almost 2 weeks lol) I had a few drinks, dependable/responsible Brad did not, and sure enough I passed out when I got home... poor guy didn't even get birthday head!
Prepare your gag reflexes, I am going in! Have I mentioned how much I love this man? I had no idea life could be this way, and I hate myself for the words I am typing lol
I have the best life! Such a stretch from the mess I was even a couple years ago. I fear the inevitable "birthday" every year, though I can't help but to admit that it just keeps getting better.
Also people, we are in no rush for kids at the time being. Partly I think, because I realize I am just too selfish to share him with anyone else at this point, and I love the life we have today. We are young, I adore the ability to just take off whenever we want to... we stay up all night and sleep half the day. Our house is quiet, and with our sense of style it isn't really baby proof.
We don't have to worry about not being able to cover bills, we are comfortable financially but we are not the type of people to go out and just blow money either and I don't know if you've noticed but those little chubby people cost a lot! Planning our wedding strangely, has put a lot of things in perspective for me. I am more into my sisters babies where I can go get them, then send them home.
I am so proud of us and how far we have come, those who know us best, know what I am talking about. We've literally grown up together, moving in at 18 and 20 and that means some of the time we were more like bickering brother and sister than boyfriend and girlfriend. We want to enjoy married life before adding kids to the mix, what is the rush? My oldest brother told me, he enjoys things more now in his early thirties than in his twenties.
Don't get me wrong, we love babies and children (well, most of them lol I am talking to you mom at Target who awkwardly ignores her red faced screaming brat) and I think we will make amazing parents. However, we want to enjoy it, plan it and be ready for it when it happens. Turning 26 in 9 days, I definitely hear my clock ticking, I just opt to keep hitting the snooze button...
*UPDATE* So today we went forth and celebrated the day his mother expelled him from her uterus. I picked him up Kat Williams new DVD it's pimpin' pimpin' and the Offsprings CD Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace. We met his Aunt where she plays on a pool league so she treated us to a meal of buffalo wings (I hate the drumsticks so Brad eats those lol) and Brad also wanted the buffalo chicken pizza.
The wings were killer, but the bleu cheese was horrid. She says she treated me too because "my bday was a few days after Brads" (ehrm, that would be almost 2 weeks lol) I had a few drinks, dependable/responsible Brad did not, and sure enough I passed out when I got home... poor guy didn't even get birthday head!
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